• Everyone at all times
    Is looking for a good place
    To poop.


  • Where's the perfect bathroom?

  • When you're

    the third person

    in the bathroom

    and the two

    stalls are full.















  • Finally,


    Piss on the toilet seat.

  • The average American

    —​ Reports Dr. Stool

    Excretes 150 grams

    Of stool per day,

    Averaging 5 tons

    Of stool per lifetime!


    They're talking about you,
    And you can't defend yourself.


    You can only give, give, give
    Poop to the world.

  • This stall is mine —
    As far as the eye can see —

  • Where is it?

    Not where it's supposed to be.
    Should I use my hand?
    Probably my left hand,
    People shake with their right hand
    But I'm left handed and it's poop.

    From the stall,
    Help please — Toilet paper —

    Be here please!

  • I'm almost done in here.
    People wait,


    There's a line,
    There's a line,
    I'm almost done in here.
    People wait,
    There's a line.

  • When it all takes just a little too long
    People talk about it far too much...


    Waiting for the poop.

  • In the chef's bathroom
    Hang the staff's winter coats.

  • I should not have eaten that.
    Why did I eat that?
    I should not have eaten that.
    Why did I eat that?
    I ate that.
    Keep pushing.
    I ate that.
    Keep pushing.
    Part of me,
    Be gone!

  • Again we meet,
    Oh undercooked meat.
    Digestion defeat,
    Oh undercooked meat.

    There's more!
    There's more!

    Less solid out the back door,

    Goodbye undercooked meat.

  • When it won't quite happen for you


    Prairie dogging...

    Splash! Splash! Splash!





  • SPASH !!!


    I'd like to thank the state,

    my teachers,

    my sponsors,

    my parents,

    and most of all,

    God, for making this happen.
    Again, splash and thank you!

  • Moving on.


    The hotel business.


    Important announcements only.

    Who was the first to put the phone on the wall ??

  • When we think of our old jobs done...

    The long hours,
    The rat races,
    The lack of toilet paper,
    The introduction to professionalism,

    We mostly think

    Of the work toilets

    We've left behind.





  • To Be Continued....

  • In the morning,

    When I'm lighter
    Using my gut
    To make something
    Greater than poop.